Becoming a parent is a big decision and responsibility. Once you’re a parent – you are all in Mamma. Welcome to the club!
After your first kid, almost instantly the next question is, “So, how many kids do you want to have?”
There is certainly no easy answer to that question. Each person, family and situation is different. Some people know and some people don’t. But, what we can tell you is, the answer is NOT what the random person at the supermarket says you should.
What is considered a “Normal Family” in 2021?
There is a mythical phenomenon in our country called the “perfect family.” The perfect family is often seen as a mom, dad, a boy and a girl – don’t forget the dog and a white picket fence. Who decided that?
We have come so far in our acceptance and definition of a family in 2021. Why would we settle for anything but a loving family, no matter how many kids or the makeup of the parents?
Why would we consider listening to complete strangers on their input on how many kids we should have?
Perspective Is Key
Let’s put a little perspective on what the Moms might be experiencing behind the scenes.
Moms with just one child are constantly asked, “when will you have another?” ”how many do you want to have?” and if they say “we are happy with one child” the infamous “oh….don’t you want him/her to have a playmate?!” is sure to follow.
A genuine attempt to be polite and conversational may actually be a difficult topic to the random stranger in a grocery store. Many women experience infertility or miscarriages, or don’t have the financial means to have more children although they desperately want them.
Respond with Compassion
For families who already have more than one child, the news of another pregnancy should be fun and exciting but instead, so often, the response is, “Better you than me!” or, “Geez, how many do you want?” or even “I just can’t understand why you would want more children. You have the perfect family.” No matter what, I challenge all of us to ask questions of other moms with compassion, support, positivity and most of all, respect of privacy.
Who cares what society deems to be the “perfect family.” Some of the happiest most loving parents don’t have the “perfect” family, they are simply their version of a loving, perfect family – and it’s the most beautiful family it can be.
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